It’s not like that

18 Dec

It was like sadness and ecstasy

all mixed together

like a night in September

when I could just make out the outline

of the house where I used to live

but I was mistaken

It’s not like that

It was more of a surrender

to all those things I kept hidden away

and promise to take out and look at

only I never do

but that doesn’t feel right

It’s not like that

This ache in my heart remains unexplored

like some kind of undiscovered country

with no words to use, I am left numb

It’s not this or that, or that other thing either

It’s not like that

Cool Beans

17 Dec

Cool Beans

Everything Just Falls Right Into Place

No Dials To Turn, No Fate To Face

All Moments Mix Together Into A Meal

Grist For The Mill

And I Am A Miller

Cool Beans

I’ll Take It As I Please

Be It As Hard As A Sudden Storm

Or As Easy As A Cool Breeze

All These Things Just Go Together

And Form A Massive River

Grabbing Everything I Have

Where It Becomes Just

Grist For The Mill

And Thank God

I Am A Miller

 

 

Some other place

16 Dec

I stood outside somewhere

in a faraway land with a comedian

my brother and some other people I didn’t know

we were on some kind of farm

I felt confused and I wandered about

I wanted coffee and breakfast and there was none

There was some kind of important task

This was unlike anything I have ever known

Some other place

I was in a crowd of people shouting out my name

only it wasn’t really my name or at least

not one I recognized as mine

It seems I had done something incredible

that no one thought possible

I saw signs commemorating the event

a deer raising up upon it’s hide legs

I didn’t understand a thing

I had a different way of carrying myself

I had a different face

Some other place

Grace

15 Dec

Grace is something that happens

when I finally stop running

and just lie suspended

not to the left, nor to the right

not above, nor below

not inside, nor outside

not in the light, nor the dark

not in the false, nor in the true

only this

which is not that

and somehow

without the benefit of strings or mirrors

it all works out

gracefully

without a doubt

Drunken Santee Paws

14 Dec

Yesterday my streets were filled

with drunken santee paws

they yelled and they screamed out

Lookit me I’m just me in a santee soot

I think they want to hack me

and post me up naked on their wall

so I stay inside and peer through my peephole

while the santee paws grow in number

filling up all of the available fun

snapchatting, instagramping and twittering till dawn

the santee paws ordered up another drink

and soon they stumbled home

not remember any of the trash fires

or broken store fronts

or all they hacked and the selfies they shot

of naughty elves peeing in the bushes

Step right up Mr. Disney, Mr. Hefner is waiting

13 Dec

Step right up Mr. Disney

Mr. Hefner is waiting

in the shadows lies the candy colored sandman

within the dark erotic carnal vale of your dreams

chocolate bunnies in their teddies

coconut balls and peppermint canes

dance inside your fevered brain

I’ll get you Walt! and your little dog too!

I am the tiger burning bright beneath the midnight moon

I am the jolly old man who invites the pretty girls

upon his lap

you are snug and safe within this warm inviting cave

of sacred flesh

you can follow your heart’s desire and no one will know

no one will see

all of us have pledged never to reveal

the orgy of wild abandon here

in the dark erotic carnal vale of your dreams

here

there is only the lust of the imagination

and the hammering of your heart

as you reach for another chocolate covered

cherry

Don’t ask me why

12 Dec

Dead eye dick with his purple cherries

Don’t ask me why

Lakes full of long john silver

Don’t ask me why

Don’t ask me why the mockingbird doth sing

or why I don’t answer when the telephone rings

the corn is on fire, and the whirlpool has left a nasty ring

Don’t ask me why, Don’t ask me a thing

I don’t know what to say about these things

I tried to climb down the narrow stairs

I tried to help as best I could when you were

lying there naked and mute

but the cows are all crazy and wandering around the freeway

the blood is on my doorstep today

and I just can’t look anymore, I don’t know what to say

Don’t look at me with those eyes of yours

don’t whistle past this particular graveyard

unless you are willing to get bitter and sick to death

unless you can explain all this in words

Don’t ask me why

Don’t pull on my arm

I’m doing my best and my best

is some kind of Christmas loneliness

it’s gone, it’s all gone

there is nothing worth saving left

Don’t ask me why

Rainy day people

11 Dec

Isn’t it comical how

people seem to think a piece of cloth

held over their head

can keep them dry on a day like this?

Sometimes nature has it’s way with us

and all we can do is try to enjoy it

Rainy day people stick it out no matter what

no little bit of water is going to keep them home

They have people to see and places to go

The wind blows back their umbrella into their face

and they just continue to check their mail

You gotta hand it to ‘um

well….

I don’t guess you gotta

but if you don’t

those rainy day people will grab it right out of your hand

without so much as a “Howdy do”

because rainy day people don’t let no mess

Get in the way of their happiness

See them with their face scrunched up

laughing wildly at the wind that

destroys their precious parade once again

you just gotta hand it to ‘um

 

Bracing for the storm

11 Dec

Today I feel like Superman

with a chunk of kryptonite lodged in my chest

waiting for the blowback

for all those things I did

when I was invincible

Bracing for the storm

of the karmic inevitable

which had always seemed like a dream

of Krypton

when all we had built came crashing down

and I had to make my escape while I could

but I carried all my species mistakes

in every single cell in my body

and they multiplied until they became a cancer

no amount of super power could cure

and so now I wait for the report to be compiled

and the sentence read

bracing for the storm

wishing I were flying through the clouds again

instead of facing all this music

playing in my kryptonite infected head

Loving Mr. Hyde

10 Dec

Everybody liked the lovable Dr. Jekyll

even those who thought he might be

a bit too good to be true

he gave you jello and made you giggle

but how could you have known

when you drifted off into a trusting sleep

he’d slip his hand into your panties

How can you love this hairy stinky Mr. Hyde?

who only can follow his blind instincts

no matter the cost?

We can never observe the dark side of the moon

It’s face always remains hidden from view

But it makes it’s presence known

and we will have to navigate this dark terrain

again and again and again

until we find a way to forgive

and love what cannot be loved

and bring light and understanding

to the forever hidden face

of those we think we knew

but never met

 

 

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