28 Dec

upon the poop deck he marches to the right and the left

wearing a green top hat and a false mustache

he shouts “Balderdash!”

there is not a grain of truth in what you hear

i am not crazy, i am not queer

this ship is without a captain i fear!

someone must batten down the hatches

someone must steer!

but the cabin boys all laugh and jeer

and have yet another specially imported beer

Balderdash! Stuff and nonsense!

We’ll knock all our troubles into a cocked hat

and be done with all that!

if upon the rocks we perish, then Hooray!

we didn’t have anything better to do today

so march as you might

we are too drunk to fight

and too pooped to pop

and the Captain tossed his green hat into the sea

and said “Enough! I give up!”

let the foolish man be far away from land

and the wise man perish in the sea!

Tee hee! Send one those brews up to me!

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