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what to do

20 Aug

what to do

on a day like today

when nothing seems to work

and everybody you meet on the street

is a jerk, with their dog and their phone

stepping out in front of you like

“i know i am but what the f*ck are you?”

huh?

exactly

what to do when it makes no sense

to draw another breath

but of course you do

if only i could i find something, anything

sweet and sassy like on HBO

but no

more of the dull and the drag and the dingy

what to do? take another step, breathe in, breathe out

and write a poem about it

 

a happy guy

20 Aug

i wish i could be a happy guy

God knows i try

I put on the right kinds of hats

and I have the polka dot tie

why aren’t I a happier guy?

these red shoes just give me the blues

I think I may be happy sometimes, though

but it all passes so quickly before I can know

and the unhappiness lasts forever

I would like to be the life of the party

but to tell you the truth

it’s a lot of hard work

being a happy guy

it can take a lot out of you

partying day after day with a grim determination

to be happy

so maybe being glum isn’t so bad

no, that’s not it. i still want to be happy

happy happy happy

don’t you?

 

why can’t i get a rise?

20 Aug

well i poke and i prod

i tickle and run away and giggle

i dance and i prance

make funny faces and you don’t even glance

i step on your toes and untie your bows

i shoot rubber bands

but you don’t even see me

i can’t seem to get a rise out of you

come on! just one little rise just for me

you seem so distant you could be an alien

or an angel

i wish i could climb inside you, walk around

and take pictures

see if i can figure out just what makes you tick

why can’t i get a rise

outta you?

(just one little rise, i won’t tell nobody, i promise)

you know i’m kidding, right?

20 Aug

ok, so when i say you’ve been living alone so long

your head’s not right, and heart can’t handle the strain

of being intimate with a woman

you know i’m kidding, right?

i don’t think you’re strange at all

just another lonely old grandpa

oh, that’s right, you don’t have kids so

how could you have grandkids?

and if you don’t mind my asking (you know i’m kidding, right?)

why haven’t you ever married, why aren’t you more like me?

dreaming the American Dream

hey, you know i’m kidding right? I like freaks and geeks

i feel as though i am a kindred spirit for those square pegs

shoved into round holes, but you aren’t really taking this seriously

are you? I didn’t mean to put you down when i said to buy a doll

to keep you company on those cold nights

i’m just kidding

you know that

right?

 

with each touch

14 Aug

with each touch

my hands become a magic wand

sparkling with a sudden awareness

of what may become

with each glance i see enough

to see beyond the veneer

and i go inside myself

seeking safety and finding none

i must reach out my hand

and touch

for that touch is a healing touch

which gives life to a sad world

everything took too long

13 Aug

i can remember standing around in the hot sun

and my ankles itched and my dad and my brother

were prepared to spend an eternity talking about

horses,

the way they smelled, the rough feel of their mane

and how they snorted when i’d pet them

and their poop

everything took too long

i was anxious to go to the Dairy Queen

get my dilly bar

they even had cherry ones

and back then those dilly bars were huge

i can’t remember if i got that dilly bar or not

but even if i had, it wouldn’t have been the dilly bar

of my dreams

nothing ever was because everything took way

too long

i thought i would never ever grow up

and have everything i ever wanted

and guess what?

i haven’t

 

i yearn for a phonograph

12 Aug

i was putting on a pair of spectacles

when i realized i already was wearing a pair

the previous pair helped me to see afar

but i needed to see close up

i feel as though i am in a place where both

near and far are not near or far enough

i yearn for a phonograph

a radio with a dial that lights up

something with grace and style

made out of wood

and so i bought such an item

only to discover that the wood was cheap

and the turntable was plastic

the dial on the fm only radio did not light up

although the whole thing was made to look

like every old man’s feeble dream

they even named the stupid thing a Victrola

i’ll still use the damn thing, because i am

too lazy to return it and who knows? maybe it

will be ok, maybe i just yearn too much

i have a phonograph now and yet i still yearn

for a phonograph

if i wrote a poem

11 Aug

i thought if i wrote a poem

people might understand me better

might like me better

might invite me over to dinner

and introduce me to their dog

but it didn’t happen

all the same old doors are closed

and no new doors have opened

or so says the fake news delivered to me

by my self pity

i am known and loved by people

i have never met and probably

never shall

and new doors open all the time

i can feel the breeze and smell the ocean air

of a place where only poems dwell

down here in the trench

10 Aug

every minute counts

down here in the trench

where the line is held

no time for silliness

no time for jokes

waiting for the charge to go forward

knowing more than half of us will die

why is it that i feel like i’m there

in that muddy, stinky hole?

i have never been a soldier

and yet i feel their fear down deep in my soul

through the thick and the thin

9 Aug

i need a body that can hold up

under the weather i only can create

stretching the fabric too thin

i need a spirit that can carry me

through the thick and the thin

no matter what dangle from whatever cliff

this world is not enough for me

i need more

i want to explore the edges

although the edges can terrify

other times i just want to snuggle

in the middle of life

and let the wilderness go on without me