this is not my world anymore

17 Jan

i have all the latest news

from every conceivable fake angle

i should be able to connect

but my fingers are tied in a knot

my brain is full of old black and white

movies

whatever happened to buster keaton and

buster crabbe and all those other busters?

the stars today have no luster

they look like they could just be baristas

at the local coffee kindle

this is not my world anymore

it belongs to no one

just a rotting ediface

covered in new coats of paint

Good Morning

16 Jan

Good morning to the tender

persons awaiting my golden touch

of kindness, of steadiness

of mutual understanding

I know not what I do

but I do it admirably

Good morning to the day

full of strange exertions

and foolishness

beneath the serious curtains

I know not what I write

but the words still spill out

even on the frostiest of mornings

when things thaw out

15 Jan

when things thaw out

there will be cause for celebration

parades and merry making

i’ll be able to see your face again

no longer covered in wool

no longer moving woodenly

your breaths in the frozen air

make you look like a locomotive

when things thaw out

we can dream again

be foolish again

but cold times are serious times

each move we make is careful

and warmth is all we think of

fancy gadgets

14 Jan

i have no need for fancy gadgets

things that go whirrr

and show me silly pictures

they distract from the perfect way

the trees across the way

cast their ancient shadows

i cannot feel the wind against my face

in that artificial place

so full of information and empty

of meaning

and so i let my fancy gadgets lie

charging

perhaps one day i will find a use

today the sun and the air and the earth

are calling

wireless

13 Jan

I can feel that self that is not

my self,  but a signal, a beacon

from a place high upon a hill

i am universal suffering and sufferage

i lie deep within a dank, dark prison

and i float  lightly upon the wide open air

i am wireless

i am (almost) free

i am open for you to use

i am naked for all to see

but beware if are callous and abuse

there are hidden charges

which can pile up into quite a debt

i am owed

and i intend to collect

i’ve got my shield

12 Jan

i’ve got my shield

i’ve got my armor

the days are cold

but i have sent my sickness

like an old forgotten aunt

to her attic

though her curses have left their mark

i am weak still but strong enough

to stand and ask

what is needed of me now?

is it still the same place

from which i fell?

are there new passwords i need?

will they still remember

my gnarly old face?

recovery comes at it’s own pace

11 Jan

i want so much to be healthy again

happy again

greeting each new day with a smile

and i’m closer now than i was

and that is something for which to be grateful

recovery comes at it’s own pace

it cannot be persuaded to hurry up

it obeys no schedules

but with four steps foward

and occasionally a step or two back

i’ll get there

i can feel it

recovery

 

Dear Doctor

9 Jan

Dear doctor

give me back my strength

my vigour

my appetite

and my speed

I need to be able to live again

I’ve grown tired of the bed

and yet

I am so very tired

I can think of nothing else

when the storm breaks

8 Jan

when the storm breaks

will i be safely under covers

or walking crookedly in the vicious wind?

when the storm breaks

will i be able to make my way

to safer shores?

or will the storm take me away

as easily as can be?

when the storm breaks

i will not be ready

i will be it’s victim

i will be it’s slave

soft and tender

7 Jan

soft and tender are the words

soft and tender is the touch

we have all been through so much

we can feel ourselves in each other

soft and tender like a baby bird

tucked into it’s nest

we care for one another

if it were not for this

i wonder if i could carry on

but your love carries me over

that threshold

of bodily concerns